The Night Comes for Us

A spoiler free review by Spencer Hackett

Action time, from Indonesia, on Netflix. I didn’t expect to see this turn up on Netflix, although they’re expansion into more and more “proper films” should have given the game away. Also this is the best time for action movies in ages, “Mad Max” gets Oscar nominations, “John Wick” lets me stare at Keanu Reeves, and we get all these badass Indonesian action films. Even so, I had no idea about this until some rave reviews started turning up. This Triad revenge, action, thriller comes to us from Timo Tjahjanto who brought us “Headshot” recently which was pretty good. Similarly to “Headshot” this stars Iko Uwais, who most of you will know as the star of “The Raid”series, but the lead here is Joe Taslim, another Raid cast member, and much of the rest of the cast either turned up in “The Raid” series or “Headshot”. This film is super violent, like really really violent so I’ll just lead with that. There are spoilers ahead, but I can’t really spoil the fight scenes, and that’s what you’ll watch this for.

I do actually like when films open with text that just sets up what happening, gets us over the hump really quickly, especially for an action movie like this.

Well this is a nice relaxing morning on the beach. This director really likes beach based openings. (Kind of the anti -Beat Takeshi – ed)

Thank god it’s subtitled, I can’t take modern films being dubbed. Older, crapper films are great that way, but it just looks cheap now.

That photo is most definitely photo-shopped.

And now the synth kicks in.


That was the calmest fight scene ever, in a really badass way.

Why are we speaking English now…

I think we need a new Mortal Kombat movie, now that we have actual really gory martial arts films. I think if you mixed these action scenes with camp technicolor ninjas it would be even better. Guess Goro is always going to cause issues, can’t really have badass fight with a bloke with extra arms stuck in his waist.


Ah so Iko is the baddy this time, that’s mixed things up.

Give this guy and eye patch and he’d be Majima from Yakuza. Also he just said someone had a familiar mug, and I really doubt that’s what he said in Indonesian. I always wonder how accurate subtitles are, not very probably.

That’s gonna sting.

Death by hoof.

Well I can see why this is an 18 now, this isn’t for the squeamish.

Did I just see an egg cup with boobs on, I think I did, that’s the weirdest bit of set dressing ever.

That was the worst trying to look inconspicuous ever, and I mean that. I’d have done better, and I look like a mug.

This is the point where someone sarcastically tells me this films a bit slow.

My word.

I’m sorry but that was appalling aim.

I don’t think anyone in this is just stabbed once, it has to be at least 5 times, and then they’ll still keep going. It’s got that Battle Royale (film not irritating gaming trend) thing that you could have an arm blown off and keep fighting.

You think what used to get banned in this country, and now you can stream this, unbelievable.

You know she’s hard core, she’s got bleached hair. And one of those fancy bendy knife things that always turn up in these films. Isn’t bleached hair a terrible idea for a killer, it’ll just become red. It has. (I believe it comes from blonde/bleached hair being seen as a sign of rebellion amongst Japanese youths – possibly spread across the far east from there – ed)

Oh my god whatever that thing is it’s badass. It’s like a death yo-yo.

The worst wrist injury since Green Room (another film worth a watch, but not if you like Martial arts).

Oh shit I forgot he was fighting as well. This films is literally just fighting at the moment, in a good way.

I’m guessing as we didn’t see him actually die, he isn’t actually dead.

I think you should put your wipers on.

This guy hates light bulbs. Smashing them must brighten up his day. I’m sorry I’ll get my coat.

Why do we keep swapping to English, it’s odd. At least they can speak English, not like in Shin Gojira. (Once again, massively recommended but DO NOT WATCH THE DUB)

We haven’t had a fight for like 5 minutes what’s… never mind. (This wasn’t me being funny, I literally was writing it and one started).

Oh my god it’s the villainess (it isn’t, but she’s dressed like her. That’s a great action film as well, got all the recommendations going today).

She’s got a point.

Oooo swanky transition.

Is it fight time again, I want it to be fight time again. No it’s arts and crafts time.

Now it’s fight time!!!

This isn’t gratuitous at all…

I’m sorry but how did they not see that.

Who knew pool tables were so useful for combat.

Oooo nards.

Can the death yo-yo be in more films please.

Where did her one sleeve go, that’s an odd fashion choice for combat.

Oh that’s bad ass.

The suit means he’s evil.

This a slug fest and a half.

Sorry for not writing much at the end there, was too busy watch fighting and making lots of ooh and ah sounds. But this is one of the best action films I’ve seen in ages, and that means a lot given what I said at the start. If you’re here for plot you’ll be very disappointed. I had little interest in why people were hitting each other here, and for a while that absolutely fine because it’s stays very simple. But it does wander in to some prolonged back story for about 15 minutes towards the end before the big fight, and personally I’d of just cut that out completely. But if it’s the fights you’re here for settle in for some of the best action has to offer. This is a visceral film and when that’s what it’s doing it’s amazing. The gore and violence is extreme, with a lot of spray, guts and more blood than you can shake a severed limb at. The best way I can describe this is “The Raid” meets “Brain Dead”. I’m hoping in the sequel we get the step up in storytelling we got between “The Raid” and “The Raid 2”. If this had a better story it would be an instant classic, but as it is it’s a fabulous action film with a lot of flair and even more blood. I have very high hopes for the rest of this trilogy and am very impressed that Netflix are backing this sort of thing. Very very impressed over all.

Bonehill Road

Sounds like a good old fashioned, not trying to be clever, horror, which is nice. 

The music does not fill me with confidence. Feels like it’s off the shelf. Special makeup effects by Mike Wulff? It’s like when John de Wolf joined Wolves.

Nominative determination at its best

There’s a lot of credits. There’s a lot of producers. Todd Sheets wrote, edited and directed. That’s three sheets…

This chap sure likes his effing and jeffing. 

That was a Reeves and Mortimer frying pan hit.

No you lying get

He didn’t seem desperate to catch them. Probably had some more swearing to do. 

Was that shot of a phone charger on the counter to explain away the absence of a phone later?

My God. That “probably a werewolf” guy looks a lot like the creepy looking guy from town. Also reminds me a bit of Brian from Spaced. He’s wearing a tie with no jacket or waistcoat. Terrible look.

The dad’s a werewolf t… Oh. Got that revelation wrong. She’s pregnant. Disappointing. Was trying to figure out which Werewolf tribe he’d be in. Bone Gnawers? I reckon sweary guy in a white vest would be a Bone Gnawer.

Yep. Charger being left was mentioned. Dude, you showed it enough so that the audience knew. You could have trusted yourself and them that the shot was enough.

This wine is easy going. Strong notes of raspberry.

The director has gambled by only having two characters. Ordinarily, a film like this, you need expendable victims.

Shouldn’t a werewolf be able to track its victims by scent?

I’ve always preferred werewolves to vampires. Vampires are too mopey.

I mean, really. What is this sparkly bollocks?

Old time vaudevillesque music, because… Oh. I dunno. It’s a bit creepy.

Ah. We have our expendable victims. 

He knows kitchen-fu. The martial art I just made up, based on things you find in the kitchen. The towel-disarm is a high level move.

Her insides went outside.

I don’t think creepy guy is a werewolf. He’s just a serial killer thrown in for the same reason the music was.

The werewolves don’t seem to be that big a deal in this. 

One side of his collar is outside of his tie. He deserves to die.

If you don’t know some meat was human flesh, would you know when you ate it? A diet of human flesh is supposed to yellow the skin. Is that because you don’t get certain things the body needs, or is it because of something in the meat? Asking for a friend. I’m a veggie.

Serial Killer’s overacting annoys me.

This is a serial killer film with werewolf sprinkles.

Fox News Twitter is silent this evening. Some of these reviews are a document in time, like Let’s see how the story develops (Gehenna looked like war. It wasn’t. This looks like indictment sober edit – it wasn’t).

Is Granddad going to be like Lost Boys? 

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires.

Some of the gore effects are top notch.

Oh. Werewolves are supposed to be the deus ex machina that allows them to escape. 

Not sure which is meant to be the important one. Werewolves or serial killer.

Granddad reports his own trouble before his daughter and granddaughter. My father wouldn’t do that. To be honest, he’d probably rescue my son, then he and my mother would take him to the beach and give him a wonderful time and email some photos to me. Only I’d be dead. Or a werewolf.

Love how granddad is very specific about the wood required. 

I think this was supposed to be a film about how mothers protect their babies, but sacrificing yourself when you are pregnant destroys that from a narrative sense, and having unnecessary boobs destroys it from a thematic one. I’m not a prude. Loved 80s horror, but if you’ve got a message, make sure you don’t do things to trash it (sober edit was a good example of this).

Daughter just went on about how she’d worried about her friends and school, but she never mentioned it! Show, don’t tell.


Space Ghost

Music at the end is like a crap Evanescence.

Who did the catering? Not asked that for a while. Feel the need to bring it back. The people involved deserve a cheeky Nando’s at best. Was it Jill Pancake? Hmph. No catering.

There’s a post credits scene. It may be the worst bit.

Strange Nature

A guest review by Spencer Hackett

Environmental horror meets body horror this time with Strange Nature. Not got much idea about this other than it claims to be “The first film to expose unsolved wildlife deformity outbreaks and where they may lead” according to IMDB. I’m pretty sure that isn’t true, I’ve seen plenty of mutant fish/mutant beastly eat people films, but perhaps it isn’t going to go that way. It’s directed by James Ojala, who started out doing effects for Troma, then has done makeup on Thor and X Men and that sort of stuff, so I’m expecting some good gore. This is his feature film debut and doesn’t appear mad high on the budget scales. Lisa Sheridan is the lead role of Kim Sweet, along with a relatively unknown supporting cast. And you know the drill, spoilers ahead, so jump to the little paragraph at the bottom for my overall thoughts.

I like these retro type titles, very John Carpenter. Although why are some letters bigger than others, that “I” is massive. Oh is it to do with the abnormalities in the fishes and stuff, clever…

NEWS MONTAGE, love a news montage.

Based on a true story my ass.

Did she just tell her son to suck it…

That dogs not making it, bet you now. Also who calls a dog kinky.

God I hate this child.

Not more children…

Dogs pregnant, those puppies are doomed.

Oooooo hand impalement.

Oh my god it’s Kid Rock!!!!

I have nothing to say…

I love that the frogs are clearly stock footage.

I don’t think the primary school science teacher is the best authority to warn about fucked up frogs. (Note to self, fucked up frogs is a great band name)

That scene didn’t need a fade to black.

So the Mom was a pop star, and she doesn’t like it, does this mean we get a big sing off moment at the end? (Ed’s note – hopefully)

Ok, so what happened when she was a pop star, people don’t just hate you for being a pop star, so she must be a cock.

I still have nothing

I think this is the most detestable kid since that one from The Strain, who was just a more irritating, twelvie version of Carl from WD. I think Stranger Things has spoilt us with great child actors.

This ambience is a loop, I just heard it end and start again. Crickets giving the game away.

Oh yeah forgot the grandad was ill.

If they keep doing the POV monster I’m going to be forced to presume it’s just a perv with a camera attacking people, and that’s disappointing.

Put your eyebrows down grandad your freaking me out. (That’s in the film not real life, my grandad is not in the room).

Can we have a name for the deformed girl, it feels a bit horrendous that’s she’s just the deformed girl so far.

Those are tan lines, that may be drawn on, as they’re darker at the line than anywhere else.

Well furries was the last thing I expected to turn up here…

Kid Rock’s back, and he hates the disabled, probably like the real Kid Rock.

Is this a city? This looks more like a town, does it have a cathedral? Also this is going all Jaws, including the mayor refusing to stop people going in the water. (They even just acknowledged it)

This pop career thing is one of the strangest sub plots I’ve seen, rivals Night of the Bloody Apes wrestling plot.

The ambience loop is back, same one from last time.

That is not newsprint, that’s printer print.

That is a weirdly dark dining situation. I’ve seen more light in power cut scenes in films than round this dinner table, God’s sake.

Spam, yummy.

This lighting is really disparate between these angles.

Telling my depressing life story to school teachers is really what gets me going aswell…

Those are some seriously CGI Flies.

Oh it’s a Lovecraftian fish person, although I’m not sure if it was real, cus she woke up. (Post watch edit: this wasn’t cleared up, I’m none the wiser)

Dark Corners of the Earth
Yes! Another chance to reference Dark Corners of the Earth – Ed

This has cranked up out of nowhere. Told you the puppies were doomed. That kid went into the water for no reason, he’s doomed too.

That snail drawing has more detail than necessary. That’s not science fiction, that’s science FACT!!!!

Get fucked Kid Rock.

This guy has really sweaty nips, it’s a little strange.

Kid Rock just did the Age Of Barbarian face, it was so spot on.

Fish baby. It’s unnerving, I think cus it’s making proper baby noises, not monster noises, they’ve actually dealt with this fairly well I think, it’s made me a bit sad.

I wish the snails had Muppet Babies not parasite babies.

How many people in this town were pregnant? It’s only small and there are two babies born and one on the way. Wait is that another one, there really must be something in the water…

To be honest the little shit kid beating up the shitter kids with his rucksack was pretty cool.

Now she’s up the duff aswell, now I understand why she nobbed the teacher, because plot reasons.

Ew heck. Wait a minute is that dog wood panelled inside?

That transition…

Kid Rock is an effective scumbag I must say, that may be that he only turns up to be a scumbag and then disappears again.

Well that came out of nowhere.

This randomly got really dark.

It’s literally too dark to see the monster, I’m at full brightness and I can just see vague fur.

That kids very chill about multiple homicides.

How many shotgun shells does she have?

This dog/wolf monster is ripping off The Thing big time (Carpenter’s, not the big rock guy)

Has the kid got a cold in this scene? Most definitely, it’s how I’ve sounded all week.

Do people still fist bump? (Ed – Wait. I still do. Does that mean I’m no longer cool? My assistant Janice is supposed to keep me up to date with things like this. Janice? JANIIIICE? WHERE ARE YOU?)

The hats not part of the baby kiddo, it can’t be your favourite part.

Well that was a cheesy ass ending, but in a good way.

I’ll be honest I quite enjoyed that, it’s not going to win any Oscars anytime soon but I was never bored. I do think it’s an acquired taste, not being the most exciting, action packed film in the world, and not being that tense either. But I found the characters interesting enough and the make up effects were pretty decent once the more horror elements did kick in. I think as far as low budget debuts go, this was pretty good. I’ve certainly seen far far worse films (check out my Death Kiss review if you haven’t already). I think this has that thing of being made with enough care and passion for film that it buys it a lot of good will. I will say don’t watch it for any sort of environmental warning, you’ve seen it before. It feels like the sort of vague connection to current affairs a biology teacher would use to have a lesson off and leave students in front of a film, but that’s about it. Overall it’s a recommend from me, mainly for horror fans who won’t mind the obvious low budget and slower pace.