Monday Update 27/11/2017

Look at what I have to endure for you…

It’s another Monday update (if I can publish it in the next 3 hours). Saturday’s film was Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which was atrocious. You can read the review here – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. I’m thinking of putting some films I might actually enjoy in future polls. I did used to believe that life was too short to waste on bad films and TV… Admittedly, some of them amuse me. Some I’ve actually enjoyed, too. I’m also considering live tweeting or doing a podcast or something, but I’m not sure yet. For a start, it’d be difficult to tweet and write a review at the same time, and people would struggle to understand my accent (especially when drunk) and there’d probably be dead air. Tweeting might make sense, as it could be a communal thing. I am going to try and keep you all informed of where the films are available. Usually I prowl the Horror Channel, Netflix and Amazon Prime. I’ve set Pernicious to record tonight on the Horror Channel at 10:45 and that will probably feature on the poll next week.

Anyway, your film choices are:

The Possession of Michael King (I will type Michael Knight at some point by mistake, I’m sure). Recorded off the Horror Channel, it’s about a chap who doesn’t believe in demons, so gets himself possessed to prove himself right, or something. I suppose that’s the reverse of Pascal’s Wager.

Jessabelle. A woman is involved in an accident that leaves her crippled, so she goes home to recover, only there’s something terrible there. This is on Netflix.

Left Behind. Nicholas Cage stars in this adaptation of a book by some ultra Conservative Christians. It’s about the rapture and people being… Left Behind. For a joke, I started reading the book once, but it was horribly written and steeped in intolerance. Again, it’s on Netflix.

America 3000. It’s America. It’s 3000 AD. Women have taken over. Probably because the man in charge of the most powerful nation on earth is doing such a bad job. Another for Netflix.

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Monday Update 20/11/2017

Good afternoon! It’s that day of the week again.

Knucklebones
Knucklebones

It’s still Monday, so this is still a Monday update, OK?

Friday’s review was Knucklebones. Felt a bit sad about it not being very good, as it was obviously a labour of love for him, but not anyone else involved. Orc Wars was ditched from the list. Shame, as that would have been awesome. Added are Jessabelle, which is on Netflix and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which apparently has some quality Nicholas Cageism.

Turns out I didn’t upset Kandyce McClure with my review of Children of the Corn (she spoke to us via twitter – @corkingmovies if you’re interested), she thought the writing and direction sucked too.

Anyway, voting can be done over at Corkingmovies.com (and despite the conspiracy theorists, it’s not rigged). Also, any suggestions for future films, or even themes, are welcome (I don’t do intentionally bad ones though.)

Oh, and it’ll be Saturday I watch the next film – post football.

The Possession of Michael King – from the Horror Channel. Some chap (Michael King – who I assume rules over Michael Knight) gets possessed in order to prove the supernatural doesn’t exist. That’s what it says anyway. Doesn’t make much sense to me.

The Ouija Possession – Amazon Prime. Some kids play with a ouija board and release a vengeful spirit. Apparently this is a film that was released 4 years previously under a different name…

Ghost Rider – Spirit of Vengeance – Can’t remember. Film 4, I think? Johnny Blaze riding round the town with his head on fire in Eastern Europe. Probably because it’s cheaper to film there.

Jessabelle – Netflix. Girl is involved in a car crash. Goes to her childhood home, where there’s a ghost or something.

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Monday Update 13/11/2017

Monday update time.

So, Friday I watched Starry Eyes, which I really quite enjoyed. The Hellraiser draw has been made, and the winner notified. My Bloody Valentine has been removed from the poll, and two new films added- Knucklebones and The Possession of Michael King.

I had a bit of an awakening, I suppose, when one of the lead actors of Children of the Corn (Kandyse McClure) said she might read the review. It’s not a complimentary review (see here – Children of the Corn – A Drunken Review), though, and it made me wonder. Does what I do upset the people involved? Or is it dismissed as the drunken ramblings that it is (by someone who hasn’t even finished his first script)? There have been a couple of films that have annoyed me, as they appear to have been made without any intent to entertain (namely Crystal Skulls and Viking Quest), but genuinely, I think films are made by people who love cinema. I’ve always had a bit of mixed feelings about critics of any art form, as art is subjective, and some see their word a gospel and have turned written cruelty into an art (I think they tend to work for the New Yorker and the Spectator), often making ad hominem attacks on those involved.

Anyway, enough introspection…

Knucklebones – Recorded from the Horror Channel. This was a reader request. A group of students summon a demon whilst playing with dice. They probably had a low wisdom stat or something.

The Possession of Michael King – from the Horror Channel (Tuesday 14/11 11:20)Some chap (Michael King – who I assume rules over Michael Knight) gets possessed in order to prove the supernatural doesn’t exist. That’s what it says anyway. Doesn’t make much sense to me.

Orc Wars – Recorded from the Horror Channel. Some special forces chap goes and lives in a remote cabin and ends up having to protect the world from orcs.

The Ouija Possession – Amazon Prime. Some kids play with a ouija board and release a vengeful spirit. Apparently this is a film that was released 4 years previously under a different name…

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