It will come as a great shock to you, but I was a nerd in the past. I may have played the odd RPG. Off the top of my head, I’ve owned (RPGs only, no tabletop or board) – Warhammer FRP , Paranoia, Cyberpunk 2020, D&D, D&D d20, Deadlands, Deadlands d20, Call of Cthulhu, Call of Cthulhu d20, Cyber Generations, Shadowrun, Kult SLA Industries, Vampire, Wraith, Werewolf and Mage. So yeah, I had a brief dalliance with… Oh yeah, Judge Dredd and Out of the Pit. And Tunnels and Trolls. I think that’s it. A brief dalliance. Ah. Star Wars and Star Wars d20. That must be it. A brief dalliance.
Amity Entertainment. Must look them up. Wonder if they just made didactic films.
Did I mention Tunnels and Trolls?
“The object of Mazes and Monsters is to amass a fortune without being killed.” Just like real life then?
This opening music is beautiful. It’s a short film and there’s a lot of filler.
Was he wearing that picklehaub in the car? That could have led to an accident.
Why the fudge has she made her son’s room look like a hospital room.
Is her father’s wife really called Chlorine?
“She’s your father’s wife.”
“No, you’re my father’s wife.”
“I’m never going to get married, I’m going to become a famous writer.”
“You could use your imagination.” Good writing advice. Might try it.
That shot of them at the dining table reminds me of Tarkovsky, so beautifully framed it is.
“I drink to get through the day..”
I’m drinking to get through this film.
Do university kids in America really listen to French cafe jazz at parties?
Wasn’t level 9 still in Basic D&D?
Why have they got health spa music?
Yeah. nobody involved did any kind of research, did they? Maybe they were scared they’d be indoctrinated into some form of religion.
You know that thing when couples pretend they can finish each others-
Well, this duet is like that.
I wonder if this is the only rubbish film that Tom Hanks has done? I mean, I found Terminal to be dull, but a lot of people liked it. I haven’t watched the Da Vinci code films. His hair annoyed me on the posters.
Sorry, there’s nobody 16 in this film.
I didn’t like Charlie Wilson’s War, as it seemed to glorify the death of Russians. It had a bloody scoreboard.
Talisman. That was my gaming gateway drug. Was £8 for the first edition when it came out. Was advertised in Warlock. Still got it and all the add ons. Missing a few cards.
This cave looks like a set from a bad fantasy film…
Maze Controller. Jesus. They really put thought into that.
“Some skeletons possess mystical powers.”
Reminds me of one of my favourite jokes-
Went to the doctor. He looked at my x-ray and said “Just what I’m afraid of.” “What?” I asked. “Skeletons.”
Is the light from his lantern bouncing off the camera lens?
Yeah. Time to take him outside.
If you’re a holy man, why are you using an edged weapon. Should be using a mace. d8 damage.
“The most dangerous monsters are the ones that exist in our minds.”
I imagined a creature that was like a Scottie dog with centipede legs once. I’d kill it with a shovel if ever I saw it.
Even if it were someone’s pet.
“Once you glory in killing, you are of a higher level.”
In order to advance he must be celibate? There’s a joke about role players right there.
The only girl in a roleplaying group just became single. Her life is about to become a bit creepier.
They couldn’t get clearance for any music, could they? And they didn’t have much of a clue about what kids in the 80s were listening to. The music is like the stuff Lynch uses – that deliberately generic, out of place and time stuff. I remember once walking past Morrisons. There was this old guy, trampy looking, with a cassette player hanging from his belt. He was unkempt. A bit trampy looking (sober edit – wonder what I was trying to say here. Bit ambiguous). The cassette player was playing generic 50s rock and roll stuff and he was in this bizarre pose, pointing at nothing. He had a bent cigarette in his mouth. Me and my colleague walked past, and it took a moment for us to turn to each other and ask the other if we’d both just seen the same thing. Yeah, it was a “you had to be there” thing.
His dad would be proud if he cheated at Mazes and Monsters?
That;s a big ass wine glass his mom has. With water in it. Maybe the problem isn’t really RPGS so much as shit parents.
Awful ADR. Love it.
“Maybe he found a young lady.”
“Not Robbie. He plays roleplaying games.”
The detective is just a shit Columbo.
“I don’t think he realised how dangerous the game was.”
Seriously? Can we compare the number of deaths caused by RPGs to those caused by religion, gun fetishism, racism…
You know, I’ve not seen a single dice roll in this, let alone one with <>6 sides. Ever stood on a d4? That’s the true danger of Role Playing Games.
“We have no idea where the body is.” Way to go, Detective Optimism.
Whoa. There’s jazz like them that smoke that wacky baccy listen to, and he’s walking under cinema lobby lights. We’re in Midnight Cowboy territory here.
Wait. The medical student was Kevin Peter Hall? After Hanks, has he got the best filmography? Lloyd Bochner was in Manimal and Highway to Heaven, so maybe it’s not so cut and dry.
FRANCE IS A REPUBLIC YOU IDIOT.
Fifteen minutes. I can do this.
Has that guy in the background got a MAGA cap?
Went to New York. Went past the Twin Towers, but never up them. Two years later they were gone.
Yay! That music’s back.
The police actually gave up and it tool some RPGers to save him. So there’s your lesson.
Alcoholic mom says son’s breakdown had nothing to do with gamer friends, and games provided him with an outlet. Isn’t that kind of what RPGs do? Give kids an escape? Those that are bullied, or have messed up home lives (I’m the former, definitely not the latter – even when things weren’t ideal, my parents did everything they could – shielded me from that) – it gives them an escape. Rather than Kevin, the wimpy kid who lives in a caravan and whose dad left, they are a knight who the king turns to. And it teaches them to be creative. Shit parenting and bullying is a danger, not roleplaying.
Do holymen wear tennis gear?
Will Wheaton needs to invite Tom Hanks to play on Tabletop.