This one has Bill Moseley in it. Met him once. Nice chap. And loves horror.
I hope these two aren’t the leads. He’s just like he lives on a diet of quinoa, craft beer and vape, and she’s incredibly dull. Oh thank God. And, before you ask, the masked killer wasn’t me. I don’t have the ability to go into films and kill characters. Yet. I hope the wine does it.
Those two look like they would make a marvellous drag act. And if ponytail guy showed me that picture and asked if I’d seen his brother, I’d say “Yes, in a Burton’s catalogue”. Sadly, there’d be just me and him there, so he’d be all sad and cry and vape and I’d laugh to myself and then feel a bit guilty. It’d be kind of a microcosm of this site.
Wobbly camera. No need.
Is hipster guy the alien from Astro?
“Have you heard about the cougar problem in these mountains?” She said that literally as I was about to write something about their apparent age difference.
Is “Guy who’d make a good transvestite A” the big fellow from Stargate? Never really got into that.
I remember two friends of mine having a drinking game in the Irish club we go to pre-football (shout out to the Emerald Club). One chap lined up two rows of “vodka” and challenged the other to a race. His vodka was actually water. The other guy got mashed. It was beautiful.
Can sheriffs afford plastic surgery?
Bill Moseley. Here to save the film. I feel I’m being harsh and cynical about this, but I don’t really have a reason not to. Yet.
Is Mrs.Blonde from Pernicious? I tried to watch that once, but couldn’t.
Having watched a masterclass of understated reactionary acting by John Cazale, it’s so obvious how forced some of these actors’ tics and reactions are. Sadly, you don’t get many Cazales.
The Sheriff and his Deputy are so obviously “Hollywood”. They have a weird ‘fresh out of the box’ thing going on.
I should start betting on what order these people in “pointless people being killed” films die on. As Skybet used to say “It matters more when there’s money on it.” Maybe they could sponsor me. I did have Dominos’ pizza earlier, but they don’t know a good thing when they see it.
I could have called the first death. Ponytail guy looks like Bradshaw.
Your brother would not look for you. He has vinyl to re-order. By barcode.
The reason I could call the first death was that she wasn’t as obviously attractive as the others (she was attractive, but they’d played it down) and her death could be explained away.
Why did the sheriffs act so suspiciously towards Bradshaw?
Great. An argument outside. Some alpha male type swearing at a girl. Obviously can’t handle his booze. She’s gone off crying. Hope people remind him that he’s an abusive, threatening dick tomorrow. Sorry, we never get crap like that down here. We’re within 5 minutes of about 7 pubs, but it’s quiet.
Show, don’t tell.
Are they in a totally different location from cut to cut?
That’s a relief. I thought the sheriff was dead. He was just acting concerned. His car manufacturer logo has been blurred out.
New victims incoming.
How come supposedly skate guy isn’t the cliched weed supplier?
The last 15 minutes, the director has just decided his audience will be bored, so crammed female nudity in. Obvious who he sees the audience is.
They have Bill Moseley. He’s a horror legend. He could have made this mess worth watching.
“I thought about you every day.” No you didn’t You thought about whether goldfish could eat ice cream. Or who turned off the light when the refrigerator door closes. Or how they fit the little people in the TV.
Wow . A British pub styled handle glass. Someone has been drinking Banks’s mild in the cabin.
Cyber goth girl looks cool, but only has seconds on screen at a time.
This wine’s nice. It glugged. I think I’ll feel it tomorrow (sober edit – I did).
Note to self. If you cave someone’s skull in with a rock, they can’t tell you where your brother is.
Comic relief guy is not funny.
Can you kill someone by slashing their collar bone? And why did the All American Couple go for weapons when they didn’t know what was going on?
What purpose has William Baldwin served?
You know, it’s well past midnight.
Oh. What a surprise. Did not see that. Nope. But yes.
Who calls their kids Calypso and Angus?
Bradshaw knows martial arts you haven’t heard of. He’s meant to be a hero but I can’t imagine many viewers empathising with him.
So, essentially, this film revolves about someone having to down a bottle of whisky?
Angus and his dad should have high fived after that kill.
Oh, hey Sheriff, glad you could make it. It’s kind of all your fault, but no comeuppance. Oh. Except that.
Well that was bollocks.