SOBER EDIT – There are minor sort of spoilery things.
The hamsters are quiet tonight.
I’m currently drinking a milk stout. It’s horrible. With a delicious aftertaste. It’s called “Tonkonko”. Maybe it’d be best if I got someone to drink it and spi… No. Everyone’s asleep. Even the hamsters.
This next beer has ‘briny’ in its description. Does that mean it’ll taste like hot dog water? Seriously. It’s a “sweet, briny, chewy trouble maker.” It’s briny AND chewy? Anyway, film.
The production credits. So beautifully 80s.
I wonder if these 3 would do a good job of looking after my son’s hamsters. A friend of mine was an electrician. He was working in an air force officer’s house. When the officer left, he tried on his uniform. You know these would do the same.
They’re talking about regurgitating food into someone’s mouth. That’d work with the beer.
Was that Freddie Kreuger’s hat?
I could never employ a housesitter. I get freaked when a non-family person is in the next room in our house.
“To hire food.” Brilliant.
When I watched the trailer, the two leads annoyed me and I thought I’d have to be super drunk to watch. I mean they’re supposed to be a bit annoying, but the trailer showed only the worst and I assumed it’d be relentlessly annoying.
I want pizza. Being a pizza marketing person must be the easiest job. Basically, you see pizza, you want pizza. Dominos did especially well in an email once though, advertising a pizza with “you’re tearing me apart pizza.”
I feel like I should make another reference to Ghoulies 2 here.
The chemistry between these two appears quite genuine.
Homonculus. What a marvellous word. Not as good as petrichor, but it’s still good.
The black hole at the door reminds me of House. House 2 is better. It has Cliff from Cheers as a plumber/adventurer and a line like “What you’ve got here is your standard interdimensional vortex.”
The music here is a bit like Silent Hill 2 when your character’s soul is basically broken.
One knife! One knife in heaven!
Once I saw a set of magic books and bestiaries in a charity shop window. Bought them for my brother. The woman behind the counter (I assume a Christian) gave me such a filthy look.
A warlock? Of Firetop Mountain?
Warlocks are always classy. Unlike druids.
This trailer looks like a Unity asset game. I’m not putting the rest of the film down by saying it’s my favourite bit yet. Will zombie head spider be in it? Or was it made with The Movies? Dancing About Barkitecture. Love it. Bit worried we’ve seen the best bits…
These two seem like they’d be very good YouTubers. Not sure why. Maybe it’s just that they’d be good at talking shit about crap.
The basement’s not the womb. It’s about the deepest oedipal and repressed sexuality or something according to Slavoz Zicek.
He’s quite a reasonable demon.
Actually Greg looks a bit like Slavoz Zizek.
I started a Ghostbusters club at school. We were going to go and search the old house next to the school. My son goes to the school now. The house has goats. For sacrifice, I assume. We could have stopped it cold.
“I don’t see time and space the way you people do.” You already s… Well played sir, well played.
This whole self defence thing reminds me of when I killed a wasp while watching Cartel 2045.
“That’s why I’m single.” Again, well played.
OK. If I’d just seen the trailer, and not committed to reviewing, I wouldn’t have watched this. So glad I did, though. It’s amusing enough until Dances With Barkitecture, which is fantastic, and then finishes very strongly. Also, Tatania Von Recklinghausen is an amazing name.
Saltwater. Briny beer. Full circle, like Jedis and stuff.