- Reviews

Darkness Reigns

Darkness Reigns Poster
Darkness Reigns Poster

Sober edit – Darkness reigns is released on 7th July 2018. There are spoilers in this review.

OK. Before I start the film, I have two confessions. Firstly, I feel drunker than I should for the amount I’ve consumed so far. Secondly, I love Starship Troopers. I’ve watched it many times. The electric violin bit bothers me, but they have ever since I saw someone playing one outside the Mander Centre with a whole load of cassettes of himself for sale. I also think Rico should have ended up with Diaz. She seemed to love him more.

Just when I was thinking I should fast forward past the screener test card, it went away.

Harvey? Are they referencing…

The director chap looks like he should be in an indie band. One whose name begins with “The”.

Oh. I’ve been pronouncing Casper von Dien’s name wrong all these years. Nice that he’s willing to have fun poked at him.

How do location managers know where to start? Do they just bomb round in a Dodge 4×4?

Don’t know if I ever told this story on here before. Told it elsewhere. Once, at an ex-girlfriend’s house, everyone had gone out, so I decided to have a bath. Whilst in there, I heard footsteps and whistling. It wasn’t random notes, it was an actual tune. There was nobody in the house. When my ex returned, I told her. She just said “Oh, we’ve all heard it.” I didn’t believe in ghosts. I still don’t. but I have no other explanation.

People often go on about actors who are stuck in makeup for hours on end, but nobody says the same about the makeup artists who are doing it.

I just found myself disliking the bloke playing the medium, thinking he was a fraud. Forgot for a moment he was acting. Probably because playing the part of a character who would be a fake. And doing it convincingly.

Derek Acorah
Derek Acorah was on the books of Liverpool FC for a while.

I’ve stayed in a hotel in Dublin that’s probably just as scary.¬†https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186605-d208543-Reviews-River_House_Hotel-Dublin_County_Dublin.html#photos;aggregationId=101&albumid=101&filter=2&ff=76481048

I’m confused by Casper van Dien. He looks both older than in Starship Troopers (obviously) and exactly the same, somehow.

It’s an interesting thing to have brightly lit areas, but I’m not sure whether it was the right choice. It feels a little artificial somehow.

Oh, hey Ghost Mom.

Now we’re in infra-red, there’s more of a sense of threat. I think we’re used to films where the threat lives in the corners, or is unseen. The original The Haunting did it better than any film I’ve seen with the banging on the doors. We didn’t know who or what was out there, but we knew it was malevolent, but also the fact it wasn’t omniscient somehow made it scarier.

Casper the Unfriendly Ghost
Casper the Unfriendly Ghost (Sorry. That was obvious, but how could I resist?)

OK. That was creepy. I would have liked that bar scene extended somehow. Not have it as an “oh God, let’s go” thing, but a pervasive dread.

Regular readers will know that one of the problems I have with modern horror is that often you don’t really care who survives. These, however, I want to survive. The beginning, however, suggests they won’t.

I think I know how this ends. I suspected it earlier.

You want fame? Well fame costs.

The psychic chap is a cross between Danny de Vito and John Malkovitch. I’ll call him Johnny de Malkovitch.

Would demonic evil want the world to know it exists? Wouldn’t that drive people to God?

OK. The ending I predicted didn’t explicitly happen. It may have though. Think I’d be a bit disappointed if it had.

I enjoyed that. I’d have liked to have been scared by it, but maybe I’m inured by that.

This music is exactly the sort of thing I’d listen to in my youth.

Are Prison Brews, Dunn Brothers Coffee, West Main Pizza (still waiting on that Domino’s sponsorship deal – make it happen, internet, or I’m speaking¬† to Gino’s on the Avon Road), Madison’s Cafe, Chez Monez (I’m struggling to read this one – I assume it’s Monez) Patisserie and Domenico’s the caterer’s. Wait. There’s a mortuary in the Thanks? That’s hardcore.

Digital Somethingorother need to have a look at their logo. I could not read it.