Halloween Special #3 – We Are What We Are – A Drunken Review

We Are What We Are

Well, it’s a day late, but today’s review is We Are What We Are (I was at the Wolves Vs Preston match today, so didn’t want a hangover). I’m actually going into this one with some enthusiasm and optimism, unlike others of late. Fingers crossed.

OK. Cinematography is a cut above what I’m used to, and it’s by ‘Uncorked Productions’, which is cool.

That pig sign looks like the one from the Delicatessen sign (good film).

Heh. Children burping. My son burped the other day and said it had gone up to God.

That’s rain. The sort of rain that makes you feel wet even when you’re inside. You can’t escape it.

Would they really ask a daughter to identify a corpse because the dad is still grieving. No. Scratch that question. What sort of dad would make his daughter do it?

I think Resident Evil 7 has the creepy hillbilly family thing cornered at the moment.

Welcome to the family, son

We don’t seem to be headed anywhere at the moment. Obviously the death of a mother is a momentous thing. But, we don’t know them. Why should we care? I think the director is too interested in showing us how clever he is in constructing scenes and shots (and he is, although some of the acting doesn’t help, the children and father not withstanding – they are excellent) than constructing a compelling narrative.

Suddenly the shots have gone all foreground/background focusing (I don’t know the proper terminology). Were the scenes in the police station shot by someone else?

I get the feeling this film is about a big twist and is wasting time because theres not much else to it. Like when you have a 5000 word dissertation and you pad it out with unnecessary words.

They could focus on the young boy – see the world through his naive eyes.

Something might happen soon.

I’m no love guru or anything, but, Deputy Creepypants, turning up at a girl’s house, after dark, on the night of her mother’s funeral and asking about a missing person is not a good leadup to asking her out.

This film has pretentions of being an arthouse film, but the narrative does not lend itself to being one. At the moment, I am thoroughly bored. I was sort of hoping this would be a hidden gem, like Bounty Killer, but in a more intellectual way.

The whole film should have been wrapped up ages ago. There’s been nothing to engage and I don’t really care much about the characters.

Nice frying pan sound.

No you lying get

The end would have been shocking if I’d have cared about anything that preceded it. Maybe they could have made more of the relationships in the family or something. Given the end some purpose. This country music at the end just feels like someone trying to be ironic.

Catering was by Tribe Road Catering. Head chef was Andrew Gilbert.

Booze – Guinness. Various prices, various places.

Don’t forget, you can still sign up for a chance to win Hellraiser Revelations – Hellraiser Revelations


Bounty Killer – A Drunken Review

“A Kickstart Production?” Does that mean… Not a good sign of it does.

Banker smug, saying that people will forget that the world was fucked up by bankers and just accept them again. Like that’d ev… Oh. Wait.

To be fair, the opening fight was fairly well done. Not John Wicke well done.

Bounty hunters as celebrities, hunting down corporate types. I like the premise.

Would work well as an RPG or something, especially as it has something akin to classes – Gypsy, Drifter.

You can tell he’s English as he’s swearing using English swearwords only. Lots.

Buffy’s 20 years old? Jebus.

This guy could work for Hyperion.

Nice face mutilation.

Mary Death is more interesting than the lead. I think they know it, too. She’s also quite lovely, which helps.

I’m actually enjoying this. It’s good, clean, post-apocalyptic grindhouse fun. It has no pretence other than a none too subtle anti-capitalist message.

The main chap is a bearded James Blunt with God knows what accent.

“What happened there? Why’s Mary trying to kill us?”

“She’s having a tantrum.”

Yep. I’m enjoying this.

Wait a moment. Is that..? Shit. It is… Gary Busey, ladies and gentlemen.

“Now all the other Bounty Killers are gunning for me.” BOSS FIIIIIIIGHTSSSS

The main guy and his sidekick have a good repartee going on. Very clichéd sort of relationship, but in a film like this, cliche is good.

Dude, just say what you want. Not a good time to show off your cool dialect.

When there’s a countdown on a bomb in a film, does everyone else do the countdown with it?



Bounty Killer
Pabst Blue Ribbon

From the trailer, I thought Karen Black was in this. She’s not. Don’t make the mistake I did. It’s actually Mrs.Griswold.

Ouch. Pretty bad SFX here. Still, they had a budget, so can’t be too harsh – they haven’t really let it slip too much. Disconnect between actors and scenery reminds me of Sin City, or that advert for perfume with the woman from Sin City, only here I don’t think it’s intentional.

I recognise this big guy from somewhere. Sure he played some sort of friendly giant sort.

The comedy sidekick would have been played by Alan from The Hangover if they had the budget.

What’s happened to Gary Busey? Actually, what’s become of Jake Busey. I bet he’s gone bonkers and upset everyone.

I like the flashback style.

Gah. This sort of climax is just so low budget. Don’t want to ruin things by saying how, as it is a fun film and it’s soon forgotten.

Some nice kills in that fight. Which it seems wasn’t the climax anyway. I’ll expand on my thoughts on the comments, so you can read it or not.

So, the actual climax was a lot better than I thought was. This film has some nice close range shotgun stuff and environment kills.

Chekhov’s Revolver saves the day. If I wrote a video game there’d be a weapon you could get called Chekhov’s Revolver.

I really enjoyed that. If I wasn’t doing these reviews, I wouldn’t have seen it. I may now have to purchase some of the comics.

A blooper reel!

Reviews from other sites


Adam the Movie God