Just watched The Shape of Water, so hope this lives up to that.
Wait. Is that a Ghostbusters trap?
It looks like one of those T-Rex costumes that’s all the rage. Oh man. The executive producer uses what seems to be a gamer tag. At least the music was written for it.
The doctor is obviously a tough guy of some sorts. He has a cauliflower ear.
“They can smell quite badly at times.” It’s dead. I doubt it can smell at all. Why were they all aghast when he was injecting the corpse of a cat?
Sorry Dean, but if I had a professor who could reanimate the dead, I’d be proud as punch.
OK. Now there’s an asteroid. What actually is this about?
We’ve got a voice over now that seems to be totally unrelated to what has just gone on.
I’m tempted to ask the agents who send me these films what sort of reviews they expect.
This looks like an amateur wrestling team on its way to a show. With a helicopter gunship.
I don’t think a real nerd would be referring to a Gameboy unless they were retro gaming.
What’s up with Sergeant Slaughter?
Ah. NRA stickers. Explains it all. Jesus. The Reservoir Dogs rip off team shot there looked like it was the start of a crappy reality TV show about some people who go round seeing if they can pass Special Forces training or something.
Did the composer just sneak in a touch of Luke’s Theme there as they were scanning the desert with binoculars. If so, I tip my hat.
Some good technobabble there.
Did they just re-use the audio of the airhead saying “Oh my God, is that a vulture?”
Do directors of schlock like this demand that the actors rigidly adhere to script and that’s why it’s so stilted?
He looks like a Mysterious Capitalist
According to the narrator at the beginning, two survive and one tells the tale (obviously the other is a zombie). That’s two too many.
Can nobody in films light a cigar properly?
Warned to avoid apocalyptic workshops? Sounds good to me. (Sober edit: I have no idea.)
We’re getting the dead here, but not so much the Jurassic. Also, why did science guy do all this and what was that noise in the dining room? Hamsters, I assume.
Can’t see that the hamsters have done anything. Must be the pipes.
Harry Stewart turned into Darth Maul via Comm Link.
Oh man. They’re trying to do Jurassic Park now.
Duke just threw his cigar on the floor to be badass, but was then smoking it in the ensuing fight. Does anyone ever watch these films before release? They need a QA.
Redneck guy is actually the only one with personality. He’s a cliche, but at least he exists.
Ah. I thought this was pro-right wing with the NRA sticker, but they’re mocking Alex Jones, so that’s cool.
There’s a lot of green screen.
Has Lady Black Ops (and I’m reserving that name for a samurai mercenary series) spoken yet?
I’m pretty much a legend for watching this.
There’s no toilet paper in these toilets in a base built by a single madman in the middle of nowhere.
WAIT. IS LADY BLACK OPS A MUTE? Is she the survive who won’t talk?
Did they just try and do the Terminator music?
OK. I’m guessing Duke is a sports bloke and this is his walk on music. Otherwise he’s being made into a hero.
He keeps banging on about a Codex. Is he going for Imperial Guard?
“All we gotta do is pull this lever”
Lady Black Ops isn’t mute.
So the mystery protagonist has just been taken out with 20 minutes to go.
That Humvee has a large MG on top that could shred a zombie dinosaur.
When there’s computer nonsense in films, why not put a shoutout on Twitter for a dev to have a look? There’d be loads, students especially, who’d love to have a look at what’s going on on a film set and make sure it looks real. A FED could probably code something that looked like real coding is happening.
What happened to the two survivors, one who lived to tell the tale thing? There were survivors, all were zombies who could talk.
Who did the catering?
Oh. Zombie guy’s telling his story.
Worst ending to a zombie film since Cargo (which was hilarious).
Dear Real Dinosaur, there’s no spaces in URLs.
Tomorrow, I’m watching Flatliners. I have no doubt it’ll be balls, but it won’t be as bad as this, surely. I reckon the only people who watch stuff like this are reviewers and people who are wondering if the reviewers are mean.