Halloween Special#4 – Maximum Overdrive, A Drunken Review

Sober note – there are spoilers.

Tonight’s vote was a draw, so I tossed a coin and lost. I would rather have watched Truth or Dare, as I haven’t seen it. Saying that, I only remember Emilio Estevez crawling through a ditch, the Green Goblin and AC/DC from Maximum Overdrive. So, Stephen King on coke (allegedly) it is.

North Carolina? I don’t believe Stephen King was involved.

Oh, wait, there he is.


You know, I didn’t realise Who Made Who was written for this (should be Who Made Whom, surely. No wonder Angus Young never graduated high school), so at least some good came of it.

Jesus. Giancarlo Esposito. Can’t imagine this is one of the highlights of his career.

Killed by a vending machine. Can you believe it?

“Eat my shorts.” Was this before or after The Simpsons? There’s quite a few good actors inn this. It must have paid well. Oh shit! Lisa Simpson’s in this! Is this where Bart’s “Eat my shorts” came from? So, it gave us one of AC/DC’s finest tracks and a catchphrase?

Somewhere, there must be a list of mechanical deaths they didn’t use. Like lungs exploded by a leaf blower, or forearm flesh burned off by a Dyson Blade (OK, they weren’t a thing back then, but being slightly warmed by an 80s hand dryer doesn’t cut it).

Hey, this kid’s playing Paperboy, only in real life.

It was a dangerous neighbourhood to deliver newspapers

Exploding pacemaker. There’s one for the remake. If you have any ideas, comments below.

I think Stephen King is systematically trying to destroy the idea of innocence. It’s not just that children aren’t safe in his work, but the way they die. Clowns, ice cream vans, baseball matches. He takes apart the trappings of youthful innocence. I don’t mean that he’s doing something evil, he’s just skilfully creating an environment where horror can thrive. I suppose the fact it’s a toy truck that’s the de facto leader is another example, but I’m not sure whether that’s intentional, or they just liked the lorry.

That reminds me. I’m watching Hellraiser revelations next.

How many “Magic Tree” air fresheners have been sold? Is it just one company that makes them all? They make me feel queasy.

“Mr.King, this film come in about an hour short.”
“Just film artics driving in circles.”

An elegant media, for a more civilised age

There’s something great about the name of a film being spoken in a film when it’s not an everyday utterance.

Pat Hingle is the quintessential Good Ol’ Boy. If he was still with us, they’d have to have him in Preacher.

We’ watched the sun go down, down down down.

I’m sure those trucks could smash the garage into splinters. If I was a possessed jukebox, I’d just play Ed Sheeran non-stop. A bit like Radio One does. Because I’m evil. The rap version of Galway Girl makes John Barnes look like Aesop Rock.

This has always felt a bit racist to me. “Yeah, he’s black, so he must be able to rap.”

Kid there crawling into a sewerage pipe. Is he going to bump into Andy Dufresne coming the other way. For those about to watch a shitty film, we salute you.

In horror literature, there are a lot of absolutely fantastic short stories. Clive Barker’s Books of Blood is full of them. These short stories, however, are short for a reason, and turning them into a full length film invariably fails and you can see why they weren’t novels.

The kid looks like you’d look him up and he’d turn out to be someone famous.

They’re not going to do all 8 days the prologue said the earth was going to be in the comet’s tail for are they?

The amount of scrut Emilio Estevez has stuck to walls of his room would surely put off any female companions.

Don’t know what the dude in the green shirt just said, but that was some entrance.

Have any rules been established here? What exactly can the green gas control? Is it things with a motor? Or where there’s any kind of mechanical part? Or anything man made?

“It’s like Neville Chamberlain giving into the Nazis.” A bizarrely intellectual reference to a film Stephen King refers to as a “moron movie”.

I know Stephen King wouldn’t prescribe to this, as he’s somewhat left of centre, but you could see this film as white power propaganda – the oppressor becoming the oppressed, that bizarre belie they all have that the white middle class are an oppressed social group.

More crawling through sewer pipes. I’m sure there’s one in It, too.

Why on earth did the machine gun buggy explode then?

That burger drive through thing has a cob on (this joke only works in the West Midlands).

OK, so a UFO was destroyed by a Russian weapons satellite. Why didn’t that turn bad?

No idea who did the catering. Must have been packed lunches.

Cans of Grolsch – about a quid.
Bottle of Condemned – #8. Lovely.

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Halloween Special #3 – We Are What We Are – A Drunken Review

We Are What We Are

Well, it’s a day late, but today’s review is We Are What We Are (I was at the Wolves Vs Preston match today, so didn’t want a hangover). I’m actually going into this one with some enthusiasm and optimism, unlike others of late. Fingers crossed.

OK. Cinematography is a cut above what I’m used to, and it’s by ‘Uncorked Productions’, which is cool.

That pig sign looks like the one from the Delicatessen sign (good film).

Heh. Children burping. My son burped the other day and said it had gone up to God.

That’s rain. The sort of rain that makes you feel wet even when you’re inside. You can’t escape it.

Would they really ask a daughter to identify a corpse because the dad is still grieving. No. Scratch that question. What sort of dad would make his daughter do it?

I think Resident Evil 7 has the creepy hillbilly family thing cornered at the moment.

Welcome to the family, son

We don’t seem to be headed anywhere at the moment. Obviously the death of a mother is a momentous thing. But, we don’t know them. Why should we care? I think the director is too interested in showing us how clever he is in constructing scenes and shots (and he is, although some of the acting doesn’t help, the children and father not withstanding – they are excellent) than constructing a compelling narrative.

Suddenly the shots have gone all foreground/background focusing (I don’t know the proper terminology). Were the scenes in the police station shot by someone else?

I get the feeling this film is about a big twist and is wasting time because theres not much else to it. Like when you have a 5000 word dissertation and you pad it out with unnecessary words.

They could focus on the young boy – see the world through his naive eyes.

Something might happen soon.

I’m no love guru or anything, but, Deputy Creepypants, turning up at a girl’s house, after dark, on the night of her mother’s funeral and asking about a missing person is not a good leadup to asking her out.

This film has pretentions of being an arthouse film, but the narrative does not lend itself to being one. At the moment, I am thoroughly bored. I was sort of hoping this would be a hidden gem, like Bounty Killer, but in a more intellectual way.

The whole film should have been wrapped up ages ago. There’s been nothing to engage and I don’t really care much about the characters.

Nice frying pan sound.

No you lying get

The end would have been shocking if I’d have cared about anything that preceded it. Maybe they could have made more of the relationships in the family or something. Given the end some purpose. This country music at the end just feels like someone trying to be ironic.

Catering was by Tribe Road Catering. Head chef was Andrew Gilbert.

Booze – Guinness. Various prices, various places.

Don’t forget, you can still sign up for a chance to win Hellraiser Revelations – Hellraiser Revelations