Not so much reviews as wine fuelled stream of consciousness ramblings
Select a review from below, or scroll down to see our latest reviews, including a a guest review from Spencer Hackett, or our latest drunken review - Five Fingers for Marseilles (one of my favourite films of recent times).
This weekend, I watched not one, but two dreadful movies, to round off the Halloween Specials – firstly, Maximum Overdrive, which was so bad Stephen King condemned it himself. Secondly, Hellraiser Revelations, which was so bad Clive Barker condemned it. See, I’m not afraid to watch films condemned by those involved (well, with Hellraiser Revelations, it was very much out of Barker’s hands). The Maximum Overdrive review can be found here – Maximum Overdrive. The Hellraiser Revelations review will be up tomorrow. If you fancy winning something that brings more misery than the Lament Configuration, I’m going to be giving away the review copy to one lucky subscriber. Click here for details Hellraiser Giveaway
For a break from the awful movies I’ve been watching, I went to see Blade Runner 2049. I’m a massive fan of the original and own numerous copies, so was trepidatious about seeing it. The Matrix Trilogy demonstrate how poor sequels can destroy the original. I shouldn’t have worried. Blade Runner 2049 is superb. For sheer spectacle it is amazing. My (sober) review can be found here – Blade Runner
Near the bottom of this post is the poll for the next film to be reviewed. They are:
Children of the Corn. This is the 2009 remake of the Stephen King film about satanic children (aren’t they all?)
Truth or Dare. Some rich kids play a game of Truth or Dare that turns to the extreme.
Orc Wars. Some special forces chap fights orcs. With guns. Seems a bit one-sided to me.
My Bloody Valentine. A group of friends call forth a legendary killer. Idiots.
So, that’s the Monday update. If there’s any films you’d like me to review drunk, or have any suggestions for the site, pop a comment below. Have a wonderful Halloween.
So, Bill Sage, who plays the father in We Are What We Are (Saturday’s review) read the review, and I don’t think he was too impressed. He was polite enough about it though…
The review can be read here –
The vote for Friday’s review is up and you can select a film at the bottom of this post. If you’re from the UK, you can still register for the mailing list for a chance to win Hellraiser Revelations on Blu Ray (the copy used to review) by clicking on the link on the left if using a standard browser, or from the button with the three lines at the top right if using a mobile browser.
Other than this blog, and real life, I’m working on a zombie survival game. At the moment, I’ve just got the spread of zombies algoryhtm going (it may need tweaking to make the game longer or shorter, and, if you try it with the population of the world, it takes a long time to reach The End). I’ll be posting updates on it as and when there’s something to update you on.
As well as We Are What We Are, I did watch The Babysitter on Netflix last night. Found it enjoyable in a Tucker and Dale vs. Evil sense, if not groundbreaking. I’d recommend it if you have an hour and a half to spare.
At the end of the month, as the conclusion to the first ever Corking Movies celebration of Halloween, I’ll be watching Hellraiser Revelations. Apparently, it was only made so that they could keep the license (like Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four), so that’s a good sign. As it’s not a streamed film as far as I could see, I had to beg the Corking Movies accounts department (also me) to let me buy it. It’s a German copy, but you can pick English from the menu. Maybe it’ll be better in German anyway. I used to play one of the FIFA games with German commentary as the English commentary was so awful.
Anyway, if it’s as bad as I expect, I don’t see why I should suffer alone. So, on November 12th, I’ll be doing a draw to give it away. I’m sure it’ll serve as a placemat or potentially deadly indoor frisbee. Should you want to be in with a chance of winning a second hand copy of Hellraiser Revelations, simply register for the Corkingmovies.com email newsletter. On mobile devices, you can get to this through the menu at the top, otherwise it’s somewhere down the left. If you don’t receive the confirmation email, check your spam. If you still can’t see it, email me at Christian at corkingmovies dot com. You must be a UK resident and over 18 to enter. On the day of the draw, a random number generator will be used to pick from those subscribers registered at that point.