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I can’t get the Velociraptor song from Storybots (tada!) out of my head.

Oooh… rated X by an all Christian Jury.

Starting off with Job, where basically God has a bet with Satan that he can’t corrupt a guy.

That’s a first – a VFX placeholder.

That’s a first. A VFX placeholder. I’ve never seen one of those.

“So your parents died, Doug. That’s what they do.” This is a comedy, and that genuinely made me laugh. It did tap into my fears about fatherhood though.

Damn. Spilled beer on my mousepad and spoilers. Beer on wine, taste fine, beer on gin, original sin.

“Go to where you think God will not follow.” Where? The Hawthorns?

Wonder who did the catering.

“Written, directed and edited by…” never a good sign. Was it Samuel Johnson who said if you are proud of something you wrote, cut it out? 

“Chyna”

When I played Lumines a lot, I used to have “The Dream”.

This is one of those cynical “we made an intentionally bad” films, which I hate.

Oh. A hooker with a heart of gold. This is going to be a long hour.

Was the VFX thing intentional? If so, it didn’t work. I suppose if I weren’t watching a screener it’d make it clearer.

She must be a really well paid hooker to have an apartment like that (sober edit – I don’t like the word hooker, I think I just had it in my head after referencing the “hooker with a heart of gold” trope).

That’s one less bad performance to endure.

Oh. It’s student digs. Makes sense.

A long montage for a short film.

Space Ghost
Montaaaaaage

If a film’s trying to be bad and is also unintentionally bad, it’s often difficult to tell what’s intentional and what’s not. Like that boom mic.

Ha. Ha. A gay joke.

That door reminds me of a video game. Not sure what though. Maybe Vampire: The Masquerade.

This is the guy you get when Nicholas Cage says no.

Over halfway through. I can do this.

There’s nobody in this that’s not a friend of the director.

Another long montage with music that’s probably by the director’s friend’s band.

There’s a scene for the epileptic. Good job mine’s not photosensitive.

That looks like one of those cheap leather jackets you could get from the Bullring back in the 90s.

Gonna get me a knock off Nirvana t-shirt, listen to some Front Line Assembly, then go to Excels.

Joke stolen from “Loaded Weapon”.

That was kind of funny (sober edit – I was referring to one moment rather than the film as awhole).

Jessica Woods did the catering, but they didn’t deserve any.