Earth Vs The Flying Saucers

Should you judge a recorded film by the adverts preceding it? If so, I’m in for a bumpy ride. It was for a shower head. Or for a shower head cleaner. Or something.

Earth Vs the Flying Saucers is quite an optimistic title, in a way. It suggests that Earth is a unified thing rather than a bunch of smaller things clumsily trying not to blow each other up.

Ooh. Stock footage.

Those flying saucers fly like pr**ks.

Some good body acting there (I assume there’s a proper name for that). These scientists appear to be in a classroom. Hemispheric Defense Command (sounds like the earth is at least 50% united) have said that flying saucers are to be fired at on site. They haven’t done anything other than fly like lunatics.

They just buzzed the protagonist and his wife. She’s a bit startled now, so he’s taken over driving. Because he’s a man and therefore not prone to fits of hysteria. He’s just convinced her they didn’t see anything anyway.
Ok. Confused. The voiceover at the beginning kind of said that everyone is aware of the flying saucers, but now the scientist doesn’t believe in them.

Mrs.Scientist’s dad, a general, has turned up to stop Dr.Scientist launching a rocket. She’s told them they were married last night. He’s fine with that and forgotten about the rocket.
If you were launching a rocket, would you leave off a spur of the moment marriage until afterwards. In fact, I don’t think they’re taking these rocket launches seriously at all.
Actually, this (the second in the film) rocket launch is taking a little longer.

The humans just opened fire on an alien who was just wandering about. With a flak gun. Our xenophobia is the cause of this was. Now the aliens are going all Just Cause 3 on this base.
The aliens have taken their fallen comrade and taken him home. Probably to tell his alien wife and son.

It looks like the aliens captured General Doctor’s Wife. The aliens are saying that they attempted contact. Is this going to be a film about misunderstanding and xenophobia? I don’t want moralising. If I wanted that, I’d watch Grange Hill.

Right. So. 1 alien killed (plus an alien widowed and an alien child orphaned) along with various humans killed because the aliens played their message at the wrong speed, and the American military was trigger happy.

The actors in this scene have been told that no two are to look at the same spot at the same time while Doctor Scientist is talking?
“Hello? Yes? This is General Moustache.”
I hope the aliens are just pretending to be nice. The film title promised conflict.
I don’t understand the geometry of this flying saucer.

Were the Eiffel Tower and Houses of Parliament designed for UFOs to fly past? Cause they always do. Every UFO film, UFO fly by. Guaranteed.

Nope. The aliens ARE b*****ds. Cool. I know these stories are meant to have a skeptical hierarchy, but this is taking it a bit far. If you imagine Scully and multiply that a thousandfold, you have these generals. You’d think the president and too brains from around would be involved.

Stock footage!

Actually, at this time, wouldn’t America have a bunch of Scientists with German accents to help?

There’s something pitiful and dejected about the way these aliens walk. Must be because they’re from a dead solar system. Also, they just took off and left one behind.
Gone. And all they left was his walking stick.

This translation machine has lovely handwriting.

I’m sure I recognise Major Brylcreem, but I’m not sure where from.

“Has anyone tried that helmet on?” Yeah, right. If someone got hold of an alien helmet, who wouldn’t try it on? If someone leaves their glasses, you try them on and prance round pretending to be them.

“Now we must address the racial stereotypes.”
Dear Lloyds TSB, I will not sign up to any of your products unless you bin off those adverts with the insipid cover versions.

They could have reduced the budget by having just one actor instead of two there. It was like they were alternating lines from the same character.

Whoah. That looked like stock footage of real planes being shot down. I hope not because it’d mean real people dying.

Those cannons are no good against UFOs. Like bows and arrows against the lightning, as David Essex once said. Uulaaah!

You can tell Doctor Science means business. He’s ditched his lounge wear for a leather jacket.

My God! The cast of West Side Story just got killed by debris. Cravats and all.

I wish I had a pizza. Pepperoni.

Add that Washington needle thing to the list of stuff for UFOs to fly past. Maybe it’s phallic symbols they like.

I regret not getting Ray Harryhausen’s autograph when I saw him. It’s easy to laugh at old effects now, but guy was a legend.

I haven’t seen this much chaos in Washington since Trump last did anything.

Oh. Aliens defeated.

Doctor Scientist has been awarded a Gold medal by the President, apparently. Is fighting off alien invasions an Olympic sport now?

Wait.. A Columbia film by Sony?

Banrock Station Shiraz. About £5 from Asda.

Wait. I don’t think General Father-in-Law was ever rescued. AND NOBODY CARED!